TO VISIT BDSM.COM – CLICK HERE

===FROM THE BHS.COM TEAM ON THE BDSM.COM REVIEW===
Alright – we have one of our guys (Justin) who’s into more extreme versions of sex than most the BHS review team. Justin’s into fetishes, having been introduced to it by some ex-girlfriend in college. He has a few fetishes so we asked him to go ahead and review a few fetish sites for us. This is his review of BDSM.COM, which he’s been using for quite some time now. We haven’t included it in our general ranking – because we focus on fling sites – it’s still the best review we’ve published.

Amy, if you’re out there and reading this – thanks for sticking your high-heel in his ass while biting down on his nipple!

We are forever grateful to you for providing us with a foot soldier for fetish site reviews – not to mention the hours of amusement we get from busting his balls! (not fetish-busting – regular guy-bugs-another-guy ball-busting)

And before you ask, SORRY JUSTIN, you can’t erase the above paragraph! Password protected posts ROCK!

- The BHS ‘Justin Rocks’ Team

===NOW ON TO THE BDSM.COM REVIEW===

Hi all – this is Justin. This is going to be a solo review – because the other guys are too scared to try new shit.

This isn’t the first time I’ve tried BDSM.COM. I’ve been into the fetish scene for awhile – so when the site was initially released, I just *had* to try it. Back then, BDSM.COM wasn’t that great – but the experience this time around was a lot better as the site’s been through a number of changes.

Initially, I went looking online because the BDSM scene in Cleveland (Ohio) just wasn’t that great. There’d be the odd party – but you’d have to be ‘in the know’ to make the cut. Then, I moved to NYC – and that was one long fucking sexual ecstasy trip compared to what I had access to in Cleveland. Two years ago, I took a job in Madison (Wisconsin). Back to square one. What I did find is that the internet connects a lot of people with compatible fetishes. That’s when I went back online – I use a few sites these days – but this review is specifically about BDSM.com.
I signed up for BDSM.COM awhile ago. I’ve been using the site pretty regularly since and I’ve had some decent success with it. At this point, I have a steady stream of regular partners, about half of which I’ve met on BDSM.COM.

I want to outline a few things for those of you that are curious about BDSM and / or new to the scene. When you signup for a site like BDSM.COM there’s a few things you need to know.

===THOSE WITH BDSM EXPERIENCE CAN SKIP THE NEXT THREE PARAGRAPHS AND GO DIRECTLY TO THE REVIEW===

First – just because you have a fetish doesn’t mean that EVERYONE that’s on BDSM.COM will be a compatible partner to play it out. BDSM requires a level of understanding and compatibility between two people that goes WAY BEYOND regular ‘vanilla’ dating. In general this is because the person with a submissive fetish ‘gives into’ a dominant personality. So the rules by which play time is governed are of the UTMOST importance.

Second – when you are in ‘play time’ mode, you ALWAYS need to respect the ‘rule of the safeword’. This is a pre-agreed word / signal by playing parties. When any party playing BDSM games invokes the safeword, YOU MUST STOP PLAY TIME DEAD IN IT’S TRACKS. Just because you have a fetish, doesn’t mean you don’t have any limits.

Finally – if you’ve never met fetish-minded people online before, you need to know this. It’s NOT easier to ‘get some’. In fact – it takes longer to find good partners. Why? For the reasons found in #1. Because you’re dealing with complete strangers (and vice-versa), prospective partners have a tendency of meeting in very social & very public gatherings MULTIPLE TIMES. We do this to build trust, and talk about what is and isn’t permissible when we start to play together. It’s like a beautiful dance where one negotiates play time conditions. YOU CAN’T BYPASS THIS – AND YOU SHOULDN’T TRY TO.

There is one thing you’ll quickly notice in this community:

NO TRUST = NO PLAY TIME

Even though both parties want to ‘get their kink on’, being patient is part of the game.

===ALRIGHT NOW ONTO THE BDSM.COM WEBSITE REVIEW===

The site specializes in connecting people that ‘dig’ the BDSM lifestyle. You won’t get much with the free membership, except a sneak peek at what *could* be if you upgrade. This isn’t a deception – most ‘specialty’ meeting sites (websites that tailor to very specific niches) consider this standard practice. So be ready to pony-up a few dollars if you’re serious about wanting to explore this side of your sexuality.

A list of fetishes is at the end of this post!

Like every site, the ratio of men to women is skewed at about 3 men to 1 woman. That can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on what you’re looking for fetish-wise.

The site offers your standard set of person-to-person communication features: Instant Messaging, Private Messaging, Audio Chat and Video Chat. These features that BDSM.COM introduced a little over a year ago. When first introduced, these would crash often – they generally weren’t loved.

About 6 months ago, I noticed some changes were made to these features. For this review, the guys ‘asked’ me to spend a few weeks finding new partners on BDSM.COM. From this last set of tests, they are now petty much rock-solid.

Now – here’s the part of this review that *really* matters.

Given that the above set of features ISN’T ANY DIFFERENT than those found on most modern dating sites … how do you actually ‘get some’ on BDSM.COM? Let’s examine this in a little more detail. If someone on a regular dating site like eHarmony.com doesn’t know you – would they agree to a video chat or give you their cell number? Fuck no. It’s no different on BDSM.COM (there are exceptions to this, but not many).

I will repeat again what I said earlier …

NO TRUST = NO PLAY TIME

If you think you can just sign up and lick some heels within hours because you forked over a few bucks, don’t bother joining. You’ve a;ready struck out.

Fetish dating is about building trust between people that will end up satisfying YOU and THEMSELVES with play time. It’s not a race – it’s not a contest to who can ‘get some’ quicker – it’s about meeting, understanding and pleasing (sometimes: discarding) people – and most of all yourself – by finding someone that can either dominate you or be dominated.

Back to BDSM.COM – how do you DO THAT ONLINE? The best place to start is the chat rooms, and graduate to 1-on-1 conversations. I’ve seen people sign up and just show up in a chatroom and just say shit like ‘looking for someone to get tied down so I can shit on their chest TONIGHT – who’s in?’ followed by ‘you guys all suck I thought this was a real BDSM forum ’. Look – dude / chick / whatever – it’s NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! With those few sentences, that person alienated an entire community of people who were otherwise willing to accept them!

The first few days after you join BDSM.COM – don’t talk too much – do *LISTEN* a lot. Listening will give you an indication of who’s been there for awhile, who’s willing to play and who’s a complete douchebag. Listening online is an edge – it’s worth exploring.

Much as in real-life BDSM meet-ups, you need to build a reputation on BDSM.COM as trustworthy play partner. It’s actually *easier* to do in person rather than online – because generally, you can tell who’s a fraud and who’s not – a lot of BDSM.COM users (including myself) are weary of someone who’s too forward and unwilling to have a few coffees. The ones that are impatient are the ones to avoid.

For those that have been to a few community parties – you know that girl that’s hog-tied in a cage being flogged in front of people? She’s comfortable with that because there’s 20 other folks around who know respect, and will enforce the BDSM code – nothing bad will actually happen beyond the fantasy she’s living out. BDSM.COM takes that security away, in a certain way (all websites do!) – so people are extra careful when socializing.

In summary, here are the stats from my last 8 weeks on BDSM.COM. It’s worth joining if you’re interested / curious in BDSM. But not if you’re a douche. Do keep in mind that because I’ve been involved in this community for awhile – I’m known pretty well – I probably ‘get some’ more than someone who would just join for the first time. That’s my disclaimer – but I’m also sexy. Hehe.

As mentioned above, here’s the BDSM.COM fetish list:

TO VISIT PASSION.COM – CLICK HERE

Here is our NEWEST BEST SITE FOR HOOKING UP ONLINE. last time we reviewed this website, it was fresh out of the incubator. Since that time, Passion has gained scale. More members, more women. We have been very well satisfied with the overall results we got off of this site. We have INCREASED our get-laid ratio significantly, propelling it to be our top recommendation for adult dating.

Here are the BRAND NEW STATISTICS as of today – you’ll see that they are impressive overall :

Passion.com UPDATED Statistics

===PREVIOUS REVIEW from OCTOBER 2, 2009==

Passion.com is a new website launched just a few months ago. Overall, our experience with Passion was pretty god. The site has a good girl ratio and good chatting tools, which definitely helped us pull a few girls from this website. It is very important to note that while chatting with women on Passion.com, we used a much softer & gentler overall approach,  given the girls using this website are geared much more towards finding sexually compatible partners instead of plainly vulgar hookups. We’re fine with that. Whatever works, really! We found that girls on Passion.com were very responsive and certainly open to a few freakishly nice playtime ideas. In our opinion, the price is worth the expense. The site isn’t all the expensive and you can cancel anytime, so there’s little risk in trying it out.

Here are the stats we gathered during our 1 month long Passion.com hookup experiment.:

Passion.com Statistics (from October 2, 2009)

TO VISIT AFF.COM – CLICK HERE

Always doing extremely well in our hookup rankings is AFF. This site consistently provides quality women. It’s the largest adult-dating site on the internet for a reason . We met quite a few women on AFF (see our stats), and good successes with this site. There’s obviously more guys than women on the site, so you need at least a few days to get your shit together and find good prospects. But as with everything in life, persistence beats down resistance. If you’re not really a webcam guy, this is a great site for you. AdultFriendFinder has a good set of conventional features with a nice range of women to chat with.

We like this website and in our opinion, it’s worth trying out if you’re looking for hooking up online. One of our guys spent quite some time on it and wanted to relay that you DO need to be a little careful. As with any other dating website, you will find that there are scammers pretending to be hot women.  AdultFriendFinder is pretty good at finding and shutting those guys down quickly, but just a reminder: NO MATTER HOW HOT SHE IS – SHE IS NEVER WORTH A CREDIT CARD NUMBER, DUMMY!

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TO VISIT PERFECTMATCH.COM – CLICK HERE

Here’s a new regular-dating website we have reviewed in this last month. PerfectMatch.com is considered to be your average online dating website. It is used by A TON of men & women worldwide – so the share scale of their operation make it worth checking out. Like Match.com or other mainstream dating websites, it’s so well known that you are guaranteed to find women  in your area. Like the bulk of mainstream online dating websites, the lion’s share of women on PerfectMatch.com say they want a really steady guy. We have discovered that they also have ZERO issues with hooking up fun while they are hunting for Mr. Right. You just need to make your intentions clear. Remember: Lying is bad for karma.

Our boys did really well on PerfectMatch.com – due to the sheer number of girls that are present in their area. Of course, the method for getting women to sleep with you was a little more subtle and really wasn’t as explicit as a “let’s fuck in my car”. It took a few meetings and some major charm to make lays happen. But such is life. Effort counts.

PerfectMatch.com is one of the well-performing mainstream dating sites. They invest a ton of money into being sure their users have a good online dating experience. The interface is clean & fantastic and the site is super easy to use.

If you go for a mainstream dating site, this is your best bet!

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TO VISIT GETITON.COM – CLICK HERE

Here’s something new.  GetItOn.com is a new entrant from the FriendFinder Group (the company best known for starting AdultFriendFinder). We spent a shitload of time on GetItOn.com because we like the premise. People wanting to find their sexual match certainly has its appeal. It means that women on GetItOn.com are more open to casual sex than ones you find on regular mainstream online dating sites. GetItOn.com was suggested to BHS by one of our guys, who had just heard about it from a friend. This friend had met a cool chick off the site, so we added it to our list of sites to review. GetItOn.com has a very clean user interface, good billing practices (you can cancel if you don’t like it, which is always nice – although you should be able to pull chicks off this site), a good guy-girl ratio. Best of all, it supports VIDEO! That’s WAY better than having to post boring pictures about yourself. If a picture is worth a thousand words, a video is worth a MILLION.

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TO VISIT MARIEDDATELINK.COM – CLICK HERE

This is one dating site (MarriedDateLink.com) that really made us fall off our seat. Initially we were skeptical of trying ANY married dating sites, given we’re not the married (or marrying) types. But MarriedDateLink.com proved to be a good source of women who want no strings attached hookups. Married women are great for that. You sleep with them, and don’t get as much as a phone call unless it’s to get laid again. You could do worse, you know We have spent a lot of extra hours on MarriedDateLink.com in the last few weeks  given the success we’ve had with it. We only sent 20 additional emails since our last review – which isn’t a lot if you’ve ever tired online dating before. What took us aback is that we received responses from girls we chatted with back in August. They were ready to evade their boring-ass husbands and come meet someone interesting, for a change.

We did well with MarriedDateLink.com. Check the stats and you’ll see they doubled. That’s a good sign, as far as we’re concerned .

NOTE: While some women on this site respond quickly, some take forever. It’s just a reality of being married, we guess. Can’t always be in front of the ‘puter when you’re looking to cheat on your husband. Makes sense.

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TO VISIT SEXSEARCH.COM – CLICK HERE

We’ve ALWAYS has incredible experiences with SexSearch.com. This site is freaking awesome. Although it doesn’t have the scale and member base of a GetItOn.com, the intent with which women join SexSearch.com is 100% clear. They want to fuck someone. This means A NO BULLSHIT APPROACH when it comes to hooking up. If you’re chatting with her for more than a day, you will get to sleep with her. As long as you can manage to get her to meet you. Early evening meetings are best – right after work if possible.

The site’s is fantastic to use, and deserves amazing praise for simply nailing the ‘just have sex’ online dating niche. You’ll have to fight hard to get the attention of girls on this site, given there’s (as usual) a lot of guys trying to get them in the sack. Be original and witty. Women who are this explicit in their desires will sleep with any guy they find both attractive and funny. Make her laugh, and you’ll be all set. Also – get a good pic to post on SexSearch.com. Pics matter.

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TO VISIT HORNYMATCHES.COM – CLICK HERE

We haven’t made a lot of progress on HornyMatches.com. The site is pretty good, as far as adult dating sites go. However, it is dangerously close to being de-ranked from our top sites. You can see from our stats that it’s certainly not as effective as SexSearch.com.

You can clearly see  from our HornyMatches.com statistics that we senta lot of emails out, but have not dramatically  increased our lays off of this site. This is vexing to us, but we will keep going just because we DID initially have some success with HornyMatches.com.

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