The hookup plan is a 5-step approach to successfully mastering hooking up online. Both the concept and the websites. The advice is simple, yet we keep meeting people that fail to ‘get it’. Don’t be one of those people.
HOOKUP 101 – THE ABSOLUTE BASICS
This section is meant for those in need of step by step instructions for hooking up online. If you’re not one of those, just skip ahead. Before you read on, there are a few things we need to clarify. In general, hooking up requires a little more work than regular online dating.
You’ll notice from our stats section that the ratio of guys to girls is higher than ‘regular’ online dating sites, even for hookup sites that made the top of our list. This is due to various mental blocks that women impose on themselves (i.e.: fear of being labelled, judged, etc…). While this may seem a disadvantage, it’s not. The flip side is that the women that you do find on hookup sites are very clear with regards to what they’re looking for.
The above does not mean that any woman you meet through these sites will hookp with you, and in no way means that the intent with which they’re on the site with is a replacement for having a fun night with a charming guy.
You must remember at all times that her agreeing to meet you never means you’re guaranteed to get laid. It’s a good first step; but you need to step up to the plate and be that fantasy she wants you to be.
And that’s exactly what this is – a fantasy. What you’re bringing to the table is more than your cock; you provide a fantasy experience for the women in front of you.
REMEMBER: you’re dealing with a woman that wants to have some excitement, sometimes a wild time, but ALWAYS a fun experience.
To this extent, there are also some realities you need to understand, which are unfortunately unchangeable:
- Looks matter. If you’re ugly, you will have a harder time hooking up. Women will never live out their hookup fantasy with someone who doesn’t meet their physical criteria. This is true in real life and online. It sucks, but it won’t change. We do the same with fat girls. If you had the chance to fuck one last woman before you died, she wouldn’t be fat. If she would be, get help. Seriously!
- If you can’t make her laugh you’ll get nowhere. Part of a fantasy means laughing and letting go. No one wants to talk about their job, their kids or their husband before hooking up with someone.
- If you have deep confidence problems, you’ll get nowhere. A woman looking to hookup will do so with someone who can lead without actually bragging. Leave talk of bank account balances and BNWs at the door. Instead, swap for conversation that stirs excitement and surprise.
- If you can’t be honest, you’ll get nowhere. In general, women can smell lies at a distance. Things such as posting pictures from when you were skinnier / younger / etc, will automatically disqualify you at the first meeting.
With the above said, happy reading and hooking up!
PICKING A SITE: WHAT TO EXPECT
As hooking up online implies, you need to be signed up for a dating site. Picking a good hookup site is probably the most important first step. Throughout your fling adventures, you’ll notice that men outnumber women on every site you’ll be working with. It’s just reality. Stop bitching and start working it. Due to this ratio issue, women constantly get messaged by infinite guys, allowing them to weed out the undesirables quickly and ruthlessly.
It’s therefore important to pick a fling site where the ratio works in your favor. We’ve done some of the footwork for you, but you can obviously pick any site that comes highly recommended by any close friend. Those and generally the best ones anyways. Especially if they can coach you through the whole process.
You’ll find both free and pay ‘get laid’ sites. The most effective ones are the pay sites. Free sites have the unfortunate side effect of attracting a lot of riff-raff. There are a lot of inactive profiles, fake profiles (guys posing as girls), etc… Pay sites such as GetItOn.com keep these time-wasting people at bay by *generally* showing only active profiles search in results and requiring paid membership for most communication privileges. This greatly reduces fake or inaccurate profiles, as a credit card is required to use the service. If you can’t deal with paying 20$ for a month, then you should probably not be reading the rest of this.
You should understand that expediting your time-to-hookup is worth a few dollars a month. There’s value in not having to deal with mind games people play in the regular online dating world (i.e.: I want to fuck you, but if I do now, I’ll feel like a slut, etc…). This would be anyone you find on PerfectMatch.com.
So pick one site to start, and pick wisely.
GETTING NOTICED: CREATE A GREAT DATING PROFILE
No, we’re not posting profile examples because our recommended sites would feature all of you using the same profile information. Rather, we wanted to explain a few profile building techniques to follow rigorously.
Rule #1 – Most Important Decision Point is Your Picture
As in day-to-day social situations, you have no influence over a woman’s decision to choose you. The decision to hookup will always be hers, and hers alone. However, you do have power to put your best foot forward when she ‘scans’ your profile. We can’t stress enough the importance of your profile picture, and any other pictures you post. Her initial decision on whether or not to reply to your first advances is entirely dependent on how good you look in your profile picture, followed on how interesting your remaining pictures are.
The profile picture you choose should not be just of your face. Out of the 100 women we interviewed, 82 said that they eliminate guys that put up pictures of their face only. And they don’t even consider a profile that doesn’t have a picture. They do this because they are screening guys for the purpose of sleeping with them. If you don’t show an indication of body type, you’re out.
To maximize your chances of passing this initial picture screening, you need to post a quality picture, clearly showing your upper body and face. You should be smiling and relaxed. Picture quality is important, so swap your crappy mobile phone camera for a real digital camera and ask a friend to help.
QUICK NOTE: You don’t need to be a bodybuilder to hookup online. Just make sure that you pick a site and women that are attainable if you’re less then ‘average looking’.
Most hookup sites let you post additional pictures of yourself. In general, you should focus on posting pictures of yourself in fun situations. We’ve found that action shots work best. We regularly used action shots in all of our profiles. Playing sports (for us: soccer action shot) or daring activities (for us: skydiving and another one of us holding a freakin’ huge Boa) help in establishing yourself as a fun, spontaneous and daring individual, pushing you to the top of the list of desirable people she’ll consider for a booty call. It also goes without saying that no self-respecting woman will have a one night stand with someone she doesn’t find physically attractive. Keep your body fit and your mind fitter.
Rule #2 – Your Profile is About Her
One common mistake guys make is to offer up too much information in their profile. Out of the 100 women we surveyed, a whooping 85% picked these as the top things they look for in a man when assessing hookup potential:
- Looks: Where the face, biceps and the upper-body build mattered most.
- Conversational Confidence: When speaking to her, you were playful and avoided standard questions regarding work and such.
- Humor: You made her laugh a few times.
- Profile Mystery: She could tell you were honest, but that you were holding back something she wants to know.
Your profile is not about who you are. It’s about whom she wants you to be. To that effect, you need to craft your profile with information that stimulates her mind and pegs you as an exciting person who he would enjoy knowing.
The rules above are to be followed, but applied differently on different sites. If you’re going to flirt on MarriedDateLink.com, you need to be more tactful in your profile than if you’re on GetItOn.com. Your audience on those sites is the same, but thinks differently. In general, the more ‘generic’ the hookup site, the more tact & class you must apply to your profile. After you’ve built some comfort, you can go crazy. Hold back initially.
FLIRTING 101: GETTING IN TOUCH AND FLIRTY-FLIRTY
Yes, you will have to work numbers to get results. This is true in the regular online dating world as well as the fling dating world. Yes, a pain in the ass it certainly is. The advantage of casting your net on hookup sites (especially the pay ones) is that you’re not catching fish that don’t exist. So while you may not have been successful sending 50 intro messages on plentyoffish, you’ll get more replies on hookup sites, because your audience is focused.
There are a few guidelines to follow when contacting women on hookup sites. We like to refer to this as the ‘minimum sentence guideline’. The optimal amount of (proper and full) sentences in any given initial message to a new prospect is 3 to 5. They should be short, funny and SPECIFIC to one of her pictures. If you’re the guy that sends the same message each time you see a picture of a woman you like, you need to shift your effort a little. Think about it – can you tell that the email you got is SPAM when you see ‘En1arge U RRR PEN1$’?
Anyone can tell a generic message from a genuine one. Unfortunately, women get so many messages that you need to optimize yours. This means being specific AND meaningful at the same time. What a stretch!
You need to find 3 to 4 sentences that will:
- FIRST … Make her smirk
- THEN … Make her smile
- AND / OR … Make her bite her lower lip
- FINALLY … Make her act on that impulse to reply to you. A call to action.
The entire purpose of the steps above is to lure this girl to click on your profile picture, which should follow our picture posting guidelines. That picture is your main anchor to getting her more interested in you. If you have a good pic and it looks fairly good, you’re well on your way to booty call land.
In general, avoid writing long-winded emails. When you get one at work, do you even bother reading it? Exactly. In the case of your initial contact with a woman, less is more. Writing anything above 5 short sentences will guarantee no reply back. Sending multiple mails to the same girl is also a big no-no. If you don’t get a reply to your initial contact, just let it go and move on. If she was interested, she would have replied back.
Once she replies back to you, you need to move her into the conversation stage. Your goal here should be to get her on some type of real-time communication method. This is VERY important. Email conversations have a way of getting very boring after awhile and the moment she feels bored, you’ve lost her. Email messages aren’t interactive. The quicker you get her on IM / audio chat / video chat, the better your chances of success.
Your conversations should be light and fun. Learn to integrate some basic humour into your discussions. Poking fun at her is acceptable; being a dickhead isn’t.
In general, most women need about 2 to 3 hours of talking / chatting before agreeing to meet you. We saw that the women we met through AshleyMadison.com take more, because they are time-constrained by family / work obligations.
Having a conversation today is not what it was years ago. There are new tools that you can use to your advantage. We generally have a few things ready when we start talking to a girl. We have good pictures we can send her, which were not posted on the hookup site. We also keep a few funny / cute youtube links handy. The ones that consistently get the best responses are the ones that show little puppies / kittens doing cute things. No surprise there.
So – keep it light and fun, and after a little while setup the initial date.
HOT TO MEET & CHARM YOUR TARGET
I want you to repeat after me: The Olive Garden is NOT the right place for a first encounter. We can’t beat charm and charisma into you, but you can avoid the Olive Garden.
When proposing a venue for the first date, make sure it’s not at a restaurant. Also make sure it’s not in the suburbs. Women will tend to shy away from dinner, because it’s a multi-hour long commitment. If they happen not to like who they’re with, they are stuck there for countless boring hours. Your best bet is to meet her at a casual place where you can talk and where the time commitment is low for both of you.
We take our women to a lounge, and we ALWAYS set up the time for the date between 7:00 PM and 8:00 PM. We do this because at that time, the lounge is fairly empty, the music isn’t too loud and the couches are fucking comfortable. This gives you a good level of privacy, you can use your best weapon on her (your sly words) and you can get her to relax on a comfy couch instead of a stiff chair. Also, make sure that the place has food to nibble on, in case she’s hungry.
One trick we repeatedly used was to show up at the lounge ½ an hour early, and talk to the waitress. Give her 40$ in-hand and tell her at about ½ an hour into the date, she should come to both of you with a fruity-tasting girly-shot and say this specifically: “This one’s on the house, Mr. XYZ”.
Don’t get drunk unless she leads the way. If she does lead, do feel obliged. Don’t offer her any hard liquor unless she asks for it or it’s ‘on the house’. Do ask her if she wants a little something to eat in case she’s hungry. Do ask how her day went and what was good / bad about it. And if it had been her ideal day, what it would have been.
Again, you’ll need about 2 to 3 more face-to-face hours to go the Full Monty with her. So you need to have INTERESTING CONVERSATION MATERIAL to talk to her about. Light & funny stories work well. Avoid the boring stuff such as work or her major unless she asks first. Even then, transition out of work talk into discussing life. And we can’t stress this enough: MAKE HER LAUGH, MAKE HER LAUGH AND MAKE HER LAUGH.
Now, it’s time. You’re ready …
HOOKING UP & SEALING THE DEAL
If you’ve done your assignment correctly, 007, she should be good to go. Did we mention you’re always better off taking a cab with her rather than driving? It gives you the opportunity to make out with her in the back seat and get her riled-up for the main event.
The beauty of meeting women through fling sites is that there are only two possible outcomes to your date. She’ll either leave mid-date, or you’ll get laid. If you’re into hour #2 at the lounge, you’re golden.
When leaving, always ask ‘your place or mine’. We’ve seen that single women prefer to go to their place – it’s more comfortable & safe for her; essentially, it’s familiar ground. If you’re making out with her in the cab (which you should be), you can move to the bedroom as soon as you’re at her place. If you’re not, pour a drink for both of you and proceed to a ½ make out session. Kiss her a lot.
There’s one exception to the above paragraph. If you’re on a date and she’s married, either have a hotel room on reservation or volunteer your place.
The last piece of advice we have for you is that you should make sure you get her number if you both enjoyed the sex, so you can provide repeats.
At this point, we feel that you’ve achieved your goal. Repeat this hookup process many times. Live happily ever after.
